508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
