Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
