Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
you would pick up someone in the library
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
