So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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