Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
