just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize
