Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
