I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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