Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
