we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
