Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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