actually, I'm a sock model
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize