are you still at the devil's house?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
