i don't like sucking hair
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
