Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
