Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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