i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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