Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
