I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
