So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
