i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize