Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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