saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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