i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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