Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Randomize
