who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
