3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
