Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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