eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize