When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
This is the high leading the old right now
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
