the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
