Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
