i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
