I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
