Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
