You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize