Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
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when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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