she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
