Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
