i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
