wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize