So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
