She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
