i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize