The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
