Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize