does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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