He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
