took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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