why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Randomize
