But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
