Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
