ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
