Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Someone stole a lamp last night.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
