i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
