I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
