She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize