Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
