My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
