I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
is it fun? or sober?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize