All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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