You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
