Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
