i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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