OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
