Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Randomize
