Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
