Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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