I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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