can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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