oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
