I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
dude i'm inner monologue high
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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